Last night I told TA. I had been trying to tell him since Monday, but the timing wasn't right until last night.
I am so relieved that he finally knows. It has been very difficult for me to keep this from him. I felt this divide between us and I know it was due to this. I just didn't know how to act in front of him.
I had no reason to be, but I was nervous to tell him. The thing about DM and ND is that they have been around through some pretty shitty times, but they have never left me. I knew they would stick around during this. Telling NC was somewhat easy because I knew that he and DM were close and he is open minded enough to not judge me. Plus, the fact that I wasn't *as close* to him as the others made it a little easier. Of course, telling NP was really difficult, but that is because this had a greater meaning for him. He was at risk and it changes everything between us.
But telling TA... it was different. I've known him for only a year now, but for some reason I place him up there with DM and ND. Growing close to someone so quickly scares me. I'm afraid of losing him all the time. But he has stayed around. And if this doesn't make him leave me, well, then what else possibly could?
Five down; one more to go from the original six.