Saturday, January 23, 2010

Mild Side Effects

I feel bloated every day. I feel discomfort. Sometimes I feel hyper-emotional. It's really hard to tell how much of this is just me and how much of it is the meds.

Either way, it isn't anything really difficult to deal with. But it's a noticeable difference in my daily life.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


I started therapy sessions last week. I'll be going once a week on Tuesdays.

So far I think it will work out.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Yesterday vs Today

Yesterday's side effects only lasted about 2 -2.5 hours, so it wasn't too bad. Today, I woke up feeling pretty fine, though I still have a slight cough. My stomach is a little upset, but I don't know if that is just me or the meds. It isn't anything I can't handle.

I'm having a little trouble with spacing out evening with eating early enough to take my pill and give me enough time to fall asleep. I really need to work on a better schedule.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Side Effects

This morning I woke up very nervous. I'm pretty sure this is a side effect of the meds. It's a strange feeling, though. I don't know that I would describe it as "anxious," because it is not a heart-pounding feeling. It's a very slow, yet nervous feeling.

Oddly, I can feel that it isn't really "me" feeling that way. I can tell that it is something making me feel that way and it's somewhat controllable.

Today I meet with the therapist for the first time. It is just a consultation visit. I'm hoping it goes well and that I feel comfortable so that I can set up regular appointments. I'm slightly nervous that my nerves are going to throw me off. But I think I can talk myself out of them throughout the day.

While I was showering, this feeling brought up something that I haven't thought about in years. When I was younger, I used to have this unexplainable feelings of slow motion. Everything around me would just move in slow motion and I would be in a haze. This happened throughout elementary school and I think I once tried to tell the teacher's aide about it. Nothing ever came of it and as I grew up, it happened less and less, until it finally never happened again.

I don't know why I thought of that, because this feeling is nothing like that, but I hadn't thought about that in so long that I wanted to write about it.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Meds, Day 2

I'm not going to write an entry about my meds every day, but since it is still early on and I went out tonight, I thought it was worth writing about.

Tonight we celebrated DM's birthday by going out dancing at Sugarland. I figured since last night I hardly felt anything and it took awhile to kick in, that I could manage to hang out for a bit with the guys. I took the pill around midnight (12:07 to be exact), and stayed till 1 to give me enough time to get back home before feeling dizzy. It is now a little after 2:20 am and I still feel fine. I can feel that I took something, but it isn't really intrusive.

I am hoping that I'll be able to go to sleep soon and that it doesn't keep me up at all.

TA was really good about checking on me through the night. I feel bad that he assumes so much responsibility, but it is also really nice to have him around.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Night One Down. A lifetime to go

Night one is over with. I hardly felt anything at all. I was reporting to DM through the first 2 hours of it. After about 45 mins, I hardly felt anything. Then when I finally could feel it, it was just a slightly numb feeling, but I could still walk. It was almost like being drunk but not that bad. Around 1.5 hours in it was more noticeable but I was still able to stand and walk. I even did a little dance in my room to see how much I could handle.

Around 2 hours in, I definitely had to lay down because I couldn't walk at all. The effects after that were more funny than anything. I would have a few minutes where things felt very fuzzy, and then a few minutes where I would be normal. It would go back and forth between that. At one point in the night I thought that things seemed a little speeded up, but I can't really explain it. My music seemed to be turned up just a little faster. That part could have totally been in my head, but it was several songs that seemed that way and time also seemed to move a little faster.

I didn't get to sleep until 4 am. Hopefully that will go away. That was partially because of the meds and partially because I was talking to this new guy. Let's hope that he ends up being with that!

So that wasn't bad at all. I have a slight headache right now, but I also seem to be coming down with a slight cough, so that could be attributed to either one. Now I just have to grasp that I'll be doing this for the rest of my life.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Meds, Day 1

So I guess a lot has happened since the last time I posted. I realized I had to take a break from a lot of things, including my blog, because I was getting too wrapped up in things again. But now I realize that I do need some sort of outlet in my life.

Since I've last written, I've had several more labs and my counts have remained pretty steady. Lowest CD4 so far was 374 and highest VL was somewhere around 65k. However, my doctors (I have two now) have convinced me to start on meds. We had conversations about it over the last 4 visits and I finally decided to start.

After weighing 3 different options, I decided on starting Atripla. I mainly decided based on the ease of one pill a day, plus the fact that the side effects are ones that I can more likely deal with. But I'm really hoping they don't last (if I get them at all).

So this is it. I started tonight. I took the pretty large pill at 11:21 pm. I feel fine so far, but I don't know how long it might take for something to happen. I'm planning on going to sleep an hour after I took it to give me enough time to see how I feel.

If I can't sleep or start to feel side effects, I'm going to blog about it. And I am planning on blogging much more frequently now.