This morning I woke up very nervous. I'm pretty sure this is a side effect of the meds. It's a strange feeling, though. I don't know that I would describe it as "anxious," because it is not a heart-pounding feeling. It's a very slow, yet nervous feeling.
Oddly, I can feel that it isn't really "me" feeling that way. I can tell that it is something making me feel that way and it's somewhat controllable.
Today I meet with the therapist for the first time. It is just a consultation visit. I'm hoping it goes well and that I feel comfortable so that I can set up regular appointments. I'm slightly nervous that my nerves are going to throw me off. But I think I can talk myself out of them throughout the day.
While I was showering, this feeling brought up something that I haven't thought about in years. When I was younger, I used to have this unexplainable feelings of slow motion. Everything around me would just move in slow motion and I would be in a haze. This happened throughout elementary school and I think I once tried to tell the teacher's aide about it. Nothing ever came of it and as I grew up, it happened less and less, until it finally never happened again.
I don't know why I thought of that, because this feeling is nothing like that, but I hadn't thought about that in so long that I wanted to write about it.